


We Found Love

by ready_to_kick_some_ass



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, IronStrange, IronStrange family, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-06-21 07:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15552273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ready_to_kick_some_ass/pseuds/ready_to_kick_some_ass
Summary: A place for my Ironstrange Drabbles.Latest:Chapter 4: Tony finally dares to tell Stephen about his feelings. Stephen's reaction surprises him.Chapter 5: Tony questions reality. Stephen shows him something very real.Chapter 6: Stephen takes care of a drunk Tony.Chapter 7: Tony doesn't quite know how to feel about Christmas. Stephen makes a difference.Chapter 8: Stephen knows that what's going to happen will hurt Tony. But there's no other way ... (Infinity War, Alternative Scene)





	1. Chewy (Ironstrange Family & a puppy)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter brings a puppy home. (Ironstrange Family & a puppy)

“No,” Tony says, shaking his head. “No.”

“Please?” Peter looks up at him, with wide open, soft pleading eyes. 

Tony swallows.  
Damn. This kid knows exactly how to push his buttons.  
He reluctantly looks at the puppy Peter is holding in his arms. A trembling ball of fur.  
Something in Tony’s heart starts to ache at the sight, but he shakes his head again. “No, kid. I can’t have a dog running around in my lab and …”

“But look at him. I think he might be hurt. And he was alone on the streets!” Peter holds the puppy up, right in front of Tony’s face. A tiny, dirty thing with wide open, brown, shining eyes. The little one whines, looking at Tony and he feels his heart soften and his composure falter. 

He hesitates.  
Before he can say anything else, Stephen enters the room, gasping when he sees the dog. He immediately takes him out of Peter’s arms.  
“Let me take a look at him. Hey, little one. Are you hurt? It’s alright, darling … hey, don’t lick my nose. Alright, alright, I like you too …”

Tony stares at the scene in front of him, speechless.  
Peter stares too.  
Stephen looks at them, smiling brightly, while the puppy is trying to lick his chin. “Does he have a name yet?”

Tony shakes his head, still speechless. 

Peter grins. “Can I name him Chewy?”

Stephen nods. “Chewy it is. I think his leg is hurt. Here …” He hands the puppy over to Tony. “Hold him while I’m fetching my med kit. Peter, go and buy some dog food.”

Peter and Stephen hurry out of the room.  
  
Tony stands still, staring down at the dog in his arms helplessly.  
He remembers his childhood. He’d wanted a pet. But his father … well, he wasn’t fond of them. A pet would have distracted him from his work, Tony guesses. Howard didn’t like distraction.  
  
Tony asks himself, if he too would really deny his kid a pet.  
But the next moment, Chewy nestles against his chest and sighs softly.  
And that’s it.  
Tony’s heart melts and suddenly there are tears in his eyes.  
He gives Chewy a gentle kiss on the head and whispers, “Welcome to the Family. It’s, um, strange but loving. You will like it here, I promise.”


	2. Demons (Ironstrange)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Stephen both fight their own demons - but together, it's easier.

They’re both damaged souls and they know it.

Tony knows it when he wakes up, screaming.  
His nightmares are a confusing, terrifying mixture of explosions in a desert, battles in cities, the deaths of his friends and guilt about people he couldn’t save.  
He knows it when panic attacks overwhelm him in the middle of the day. When he crouches in a corner, panting, desperately searching for an anchor, for a connection to reality.

Stephen knows it when his hands are shaking so much that he can’t do the simpliest everyday things. When he feels useless and unlovable.  
When flashbacks of his own repeated death leave him breathless and drenched in sweat. The circle of pain from back then is a neverending echo in his mind.

They’re both damaged souls. 

But then they meet and it’s like a revelation.  
Together, they start to fix each other.  
It’s a slow, painful process.  
But when they’re together, they can do it.  
They can fight the demons.

Tony holds Stephen’s scarred hands in his, massaging the tremors out of them.  
“You’re a marvel”, he tells Stephen. “You’re strong and kind. You deserve all the happiness and love in the world and more. I want to give it to you. Please let me in. Let me through the walls you built around your heart. I promise that you can trust me.”

Stephen holds Tony after a nightmare or a panic attack, telling him to breathe, assuring him that everything is alright.  
“You’re selfless”, he tells Tony. “You care for all of them so much. But you have to remember that you and your wellbeing matters the most. It matters to me. You can always tell me about your fears and worries. I’ll be there for you when everything and everyone else disappears. Always.”

It’s not only a lovestory.

It’s a battle and they're going to win it.


	3. Thanks Dad (Tony Stark & Peter Parker)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony’s free evening is interrupted by Peter Parker, who managed to fall into a river. Tony takes care of him. Something Peter says makes him think about the their relationship and how it affects him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not exactly Ironstrange.  
> I had a terrible plot bunny.  
> I feel like this is not as good as what I'm usually writing, but I hope you still enjoy it a bit :3

Tony is just about to enjoy a lonely late-night glass of wine and the last few pages of a moderately exciting thriller, when the door bell rings.  
He groans annoyed, rolling his eyes.  
Whoever this is, Tony hopes there’s a good explanation for disturbing him on his free evening.  

He stands up, sighing, throwing a last longing glance at the wine and the book.

He opens the door, a snappy remark already half on his lips.  
But when he sees, who’s out there in the dark, he freezes.  

In front of him stands a trembling Peter Parker, his hair and clothes dripping wet.  
“Mr. Stark,” he breathes barely audible. “Help.”  
He sways slightly, pressing a hand against his head, groaning.

“What the … Come in,” Tony opens the door for Peter, watching as the boy staggers in, leaving wet footsteps on the floor.  

Tony looks him over. Worry stirs in him at the miserable sight the kid makes.  
“Okay. We have to get you out of these clothes,” he says. He shoves Peter in the direction of the bathroom. “And I think a warm shower will help,” he adds. “Are you hurt?”

“Um, no, I don’t think so … just hit my head somewhere,” Peter says, fumbling with the buttons of his jacket with trembling fingers. Tony helps him. When they finally have removed every cold wet piece of clothing, Tony advises him to shower.  
Meanwhile, he fetches one of his pyjamas for Peter. He chooses the softest and cosiest he has.  
When he comes back, Peter is drying his hair. He looks much better, already. At least he’s not trembling anymore.

Tony hands him the pyjama. “What happened?” He asks while Peter’s putting it on gratefully.

The kid swallows. “Fell in the river …,” he mumbles.

“You fell in the RIVER?!”

“Yeah … sorry,” Peter ducks his head, as if he’s expecting a rant.

Tony shakes his head in disbelief.  
“Didn’t I tell you to be more careful?” He scolds but tries to stay as calm as he can. “You usually don’t fall in rivers when you’re helping people finding their pets, their stolen things or whatever. So what did you do tonight?!”

Peter hesitates, but when he speaks, he raises his chin almost defiantly.  
“There was a mugging going on, on a bridge. I had to do something … I just … I didn’t see there was a  second man and he shoved me. I was too surprised to react. But, you know, I couldn’t just watch. I’m Spiderman. I’m helping people ...”

“And Spiderman fell into a river,” Tony says drily. “Had to save himself from drowning. Wow.”

Peter stares at his bare feet, suddenly looking sad and disappointed.  
“I just wanted to help,” he murmurs.

Tony sighs. He already feels sorry. He lays a hand on Peter’s shoulder. “I know,” he says quietly. “And it’s not wrong that you want to help. But we really have to work on your equipment. We have to make you more, um, resistant against such ordinary threats like freezing water, right? But don’t worry … I’m already working on something …”

Peter smiles weakly, but then he coughs. It sounds wet.

Tony frowns.  
„This doesn’t sound good, kid. I’ll better call my doctor …”

“No. I don’t want cause trouble, Mr. Stark. I’ll be fine, I …” Peter coughs again, violently this time, and grimaces in pain.  

“Hey, calm down. I just want to be sure you’re alright, okay? How do you want to help people, when you’re lying in a hospital with pneumonia?” Tony says seriously.

Peter nods in defeat. “Okay.”

*

A light concussion and hypothermia is the doctor’s diagnose.  
Bedrest his immediate advise, after he gave Peter something to prevent pneumonia.

Tony puts the kid into a bed in on of his guest rooms.  
“What does your aunt think where you are, actually?” He asks, frowning.

“Sleepover with Ned,” Peter mumbles, his eyes slipping shut.

“I see.” Tony sighs.  
He looks at Peter on the bed.  
The kid is clearly completely exhausted. But better exhausted than severely injured or barely conscious in a hospital … Tony shivers involuntarily.  
After a moment’s hesitation, he pulls the blanket up to the boy’s chin.

“Thanks Dad,” Peter mumbles, already half asleep.

Tony freezes.  
He blinks.

_Dad._

Peter just called him Dad.  
He doesn’t quite know how to feel about it.  
Well, he quickly tells himself, the kid has a concussion and all.  
He … he didn’t mean it, right?

But still.  
Dad.  
The word touches something deep inside of Tony. It equally scares and amazes him.

He looks at Peter, who’s already fast asleep, his mouth slightly open and his face finally peaceful. With the bandage around his head, he looks even younger than usually.

He’s just a kid, Tony thinks. Just a kid and still he’s out there, trying to protect people, trying to be one of the heros he’s admiring, trying to be like … like _me_.

He swallows.

And then, out of a sudden instinct, he runs a hand through Peter’s hair.  
“Goodnight, kid,” he mumbles.

When he leaves, all longing for his wine and book is gone.  
Instead, he decides to work on the new suit for Peter again.  
He really has to add some things.  
It has to be water resistant. And an automatic heater would be helpful. Yeah.

While he’s working, he can’t help but imagining how it would be, if he actually _was_ Peter’s dad. To his surprise, the thought is more appealing to him than he initially thought.

At the same time, he realizes, that he can’t stand the thought of something bad – really bad -  happening to the kid.  

And he slowly starts to understand, that Peter’s becoming a weak spot.  
But he’s not like a crack in Tony’s armour.    
No.  
Actually, Peter makes Tony feel like someone responsible, like someone you can look up to.  
It's something good.

It’s definitely something good.


	4. Being Brave (Ironstrange/Love Confession)

It’s a mild Summer night.  
Tony and Stephen are drinking wine on the porch of one of Tony’s villas, hidden in the deeper nature of Canada.  
The moon is bright. The stars are a sparkling map above them.  
It’s ridiculously marvellous.  
A sight, New York never has to offer.  
It’s too full, too loud, too dirty.  
Sometimes, New York is just too much of everything.

That’s why this villa is one of Tony’s favourite retreats.

Today is the first time, he’s there with Stephen.  
Since they've met, they started to spend more and more time together.  
At first, Tony thought the sorcerer would be just another addition to his wide circle of acquaintances.

But then, Stephen started to call him Tony instead of Mr. Stark.  
It was just a first step of many.  
Next, Tony found out, how easy it was, to be around Stephen.  
Easy and nice.  
Their talks long and strangely harmonic.  
They got along.  
They got along in a suprising but pleasent way.

Tony started to notice some small but important things.

Stephen doesn’t even look at his watch once, when he’s with Tony.  
He doesn’t seem to care how much time passes.  
He doesn’t leave all of a sudden, mumbling a casual apology.

Stephen asks questions, that aren’t about Tony’s inventions, weapons, past or mistakes. They are about Tony’s wellbeing, his interests or his future plans. 

Tony also notices the fluttering in his stomach and the warm feeling in his heart, everytime he opens the door for a smiling Stephen.

So at some point, Tony starts to think about their relationship in another way.  
All his way of thoughts join in one point. They all lead him to the quiet, careful hope, that maybe, there might be more. More than just sharing good wine, doing small-talk or going for a coffee from time to time.

What if, he asks himself. What if he feels the same?

The problem is that Tony also asks himself way too often, what if he doesn’t. And this thought is stronger, because it’s terrifying. This thought lets him stay silent.  
With a hint of sadness, he thinks that Stephen may never know. But maybe … maybe that’s a good thing.

Tony swallows. Suddenly the wine tastes unpleasantly bitter on his tongue.

Stephen turns around to him, a smile on his face.  
Tony thinks, he could drown in it, if he just stares at it long enough.

He also thinks, he might die, if he doesn’t tell Stephen the truth soon.  
Because it’s too much pressure.  
It makes it difficult to breath.

Tony involuntarily makes a small desperate noise.

Stephen frowns slightly. “Are you okay Tony?” He asks.

_Are you okay._

Tony can’t even remember the last time he could have answered this question with a honest yes. But he knows that he’s the closest to being okay, when Stephen is around. Oh God. What a mess.

He can’t help it. He laughs shortly. It sounds slightly hysterical.

And suddenly, Tony realizes, he can’t do this anymore.  
All the silence. It’s about to drive him insane.

“Tony,” Stephen says again, worried by Tony’s ongoing silence and his face, that’s probably a mask of desperation.

Tony closes his eyes a moment. When he opens them again, he looks right into Stephen’s colourful, worried eyes, because somehow, sometime, Stephen came a step closer. He’s too close and he’s gorgeous and …

„I think I’m in love with you,“ Tony blurts out.

Stephen’s eyes widen.

The moment stands still.

 _Great_ , Tony thinks bitterly. _Now you ruined what could have become a great friendship._

But well, he seems to have a tendency to ruin everything good in his life, right?

He lowers his head, expecting Stephen to laugh or to leave. Maybe there will be some careful, excusing words before he does.    
_I’m sorry Tony. But I don’t feel the same. We can just go on like this, can’t we? Be friends. Partners._

But Stephen doesn’t laugh.

He doesn’t leave.

And there are no I’m sorries.

Instead, Stephen sighs softly, putting his empty glass of wine on the table beside him.

He looks at Tony, his eyes full of unreadable feelings.

“Good,” he finally says calmly.

Good?

Tony doesn’t understand.

“Good?” He echoes.

“Yes. Good. Because,” Stephen smiles weakly. “I was just about to tell you the same.”

Tony holds his breath.

“But,” Stephen says. “I wasn’t brave enough. You were.”

“I’m not brave,” Tony breathes. “I’m just an idiot.”

“I don’t think so,” Stephen says. He clears his throat. “Can I kiss you?”

A pleasant shiver runs over Tony’s spine.

“Yes,” he whispers.

Stephen bridges the last little bit of distance between them.  
He slowly presses his lips on Tony’s.  
It’s tentative.  
Stephen’s lips are soft and slightly cracked.  
They are perfect.  
Tony closes his eyes. He allows himself to just feel. Wants to memorize every second of this.

When they eventually part, they look at each other intensively.  
They stay silent.  
They don’t need more words. Not now.  
Just this.  
Peace and the memory of a first kiss, that will be followed by many more.

Just this.


	5. Not Just A Fantasy (Ironstrange)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony questions reality. Stephen shows him something very real. (Ironstrange)

It’s Sunday morning.    
Tony and Stephen share a late breakfast in pleasant silence.

Tony throws furtive glances at Stephen from time to time, feeling both confused and a bit drunk with joy.  
Once more, he questions reality.  
Because … this feels like one of those ridiculously happy dreams, which make you want to fall back asleep after you woke up, just to see how much more happiness there could have been.

What happened?  
It’s easy to explain but oh so difficult to understand.  
They were talking.  
And then they were doing much more then that.  
There was kissing and touching and a lot of wonderful warmth.

And now, now there’s a man sitting at his table.  
A man, drinking orange juice in a lilac dressing gown.  
A man, acting like he was here all the time.  
Like his presence wasn’t special at all.  
  
Tony didn’t know how lonely he is, until he wasn’t.

But _  
Is this the real life, is this just fantasy?_  
One of those songs, one of those lines, you never really forget, no matter how much time passes.  
Branded into your mind because they are so true and relatable.  
_Could be the lyrics of my life_ , Tony thinks, sighing inwardly.  

 _Are you real or just a fantasy_ , he asks Stephen in his mind.

And the next moment, because he has a loose mouth, which he sometimes curses himself, the thought just blurts out of him.    
“You’re real, right?”

Stephen stops eating.  
He looks at Tony, puzzled.

Tony swallows.  
He quickly hides his face behind a nearby laying newspaper. He feels his cheeks burning.    
“It’s just … okay, this was stupid. Sorry. Forget it,” he rambles.  
_Oh God._  
_I will definitely ruin this._

But after a moment, Stephen stands up and carefully pulls the newspaper out of Tony’s hands.    
Tony looks up at him nervously.  
Stephen smiles. He reaches out a hand.  
“Come on.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Tony takes the hand and lets Stephen pull him on his feet.  
They stand face to face, looking into each other’s eyes.  
And then Stephen kisses him.  
Slow and long.  
His lips taste like orange juice and mint toothpaste.  
The most wonderful combination, Tony decides, while melting into the kiss.

“Does this feel real enough to you?” Stephen asks, when they part, a bit breathless.  

Tony nods. He feels a bit dizzy.  
“Yes.”

Stephen looks at him seriously.  
“I know the feeling of not being sure about reality. It’s terrifying. It’s so terrifying because we found something great and fear to lose it again. But,” he takes Tony’s hands in his own scarred ones, squeezing them lightly. “I’m here. And I’m not going away. Not if you want me to stay.”

“I definitely want you to stay,” Tony breathes.  
Forever. You can stay forever, he adds in his mind. First it sounds a bit greedy to him, but it’s such an amazing thought, that it makes his heart flutter and his toes tingle in excitement.

“Okay,” Stephen nods. “Okay.”

He stays.  
And it’s real, not just a fantasy.


	6. I'm not drunk. I'm Iron Man. (Ironstrange/Drunk Love Confession)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen taking care of a drunk Tony.

As soon as Stephen opens the portal to Tony’s place, he realizes, that he still needs a more suitable reason than “I felt lonely and thought we could repeat this dinner thing from last week which my mind supposes as a one-time thing but what can I do, hope is known to be annoyingly persistent”.

He tries a few things out in his mind, while stepping out of the portal, knocking at the door.  
A possible future threat he has seen in a vision?  
Maybe aliens again?  
He lost his cloak and wants to check if it’s at Tony’s?

Every scenario sounds to him exactly after what they are, weak excuses.  
He has time to feel panicked for like a blink, then Tony opens the door abruptly and almost falls over, into Stephen’s arms.  
“Heeeeeey, Stephen,” he slurs, swaying dangerously, quickly leaning against the doorframe. “Good to see you.”

Stephen frowns.  
He expected a lot of things. But not _this_.  
Tony reeks of alcohol. His hair is messy, and his face is bathed in sweat. His eyes are wild and glassy.  
He’s clearly drunk.  
In his right hand, he’s holding an almost empty bottle.

“Come in, come in.”

Stephen watches, as Tony turns around, almost stumbling over his own feet, walking back into the flat, all the while mumbling to himself, scratching the back of his head with his free hand.

 _Oh dear_ , Stephen thinks.  
_Maybe I should leave. I don’t think he would like that I see him in such a compromising state._

But something, an indefinable feeling, lets him follow Tony.

Inside, the air is heavy. The windows are all closed and the curtains drawn.  
Tony stands in front of a huge pile of scrap. It looks like he has shattered one of his suits or weapons in the middle of his living room.

He looks at Stephen, who comes to a halt beside him, suddenly frowning.  
“Wait. Why are there two of you?” He asks surprised. He covers one eye with his free hand, blinking. “Doesn’t help much,” he mumbles. “What kind of magic trick is that? Do I have to pay you for it?” He giggles. “I have a lot of money you know?”

He raises the bottle in his hand, staring at it in disappointment, as he sees how empty it is.

Stephen sighs.  
He makes a step forward, taking the bottle away from Tony.  
“You’re drunk, Tony.”

“No. No … I’m not drunk. I’m Iron Man.” Tony starts to giggle hysterically.

Stephen rolls his eyes.  
“Well. Iron Man should go to bed now.”

Tony gasps and stares at him. His glassy eyes widen.  
“With you?” He asks hopefully.

Stephen holds his breath.  
_What?_  
  
He doesn’t know what to say.  
  
_Well_ , he tells himself quickly. _It’s just the ramblings of a way too drunk friend. Don’t read too much into it. There’s nothing else indicating that he might return your feelings. It’s just … It doesn’t mean anything._

Still, the persistent glimpse of hope in his heart lightens up excitedly. He feels very warm all of a sudden. And it isn’t because of the sticky air in the room.

Tony meanwhile, kicks against the scrap on the floor, babbling on without a break.  
“This. It was a new thingy. Don’t remember what it was exactly. But it was worthless. Didn’t work like it was supposed to do, you know? So I destroyed it. It was fun. I should do better. I will do better next time. Do you know this, this song. This … A song. I don’t know what it’s called. But I feel it, because it goes, um, _I’m a loser baby, so why don’t you kill me_. Ha ha. You get it?”

Stephen sighs.  
He starts to feel pity.  
What made Tony drink that much alcohol, destroy his work and think of himself as a loser?  
Anyway, he should at least try to help the man to get some well needed rest. He will awake with a headache tomorrow anyway. No need to let it get even worse.    
“Come on,” he says resolutely, grabbing Tony’s elbow. “You need to sleep.”

Tony mumbles something incoherently, but doesn’t fight, as Stephen leads him to his bedroom.  
When they arrive there, Stephen doesn’t switch on the light. The moon from outside lightens the room up enough and bright light would only be more unpleasant for Tony, who’s now humming the intro to The Teletubbies.  
It’s a bit scary.

Stephen leads him to the bed.  
“Lie down,” he advises, letting go off Tony’s arm.

“Okay,” Tony mumbles, falling face first into the pillows.

Stephen shakes his head.  
He opens the drawer, searching for a pyjama.  
He throws it on Tony.  
“Put that on.”

Tony grunts.  
He doesn’t move.  
Stephen sighs.  
He goes to the bed, staring down at Tony, who seems already half asleep.  
Stephen shakes his shoulder carefully.  
“Come on. Put the pyjama on. Then you can sleep, alright?”

Tony hums. But finally, he rolls over, sitting up slowly, groaning.  
He starts undressing himself and Stephen looks away a bit embarrassed, his ears burning.  
Tony carelessly throws his clothes on the floor and puts the pyjama on.  
He lies back down and makes a satisfied noise.  
“Warm. Soft,” he tells Stephen, grinning like an idiot.

“Great,” Stephen says dryly.  
He hesitates.  
This is the moment, right?  
Now he goes back to his own home. Feeling lonely again.  
“Goodnight, Tony,” He murmurs. Then he turns around.  

“Don’t want to be alone,” Tony mumbles, before he can make a step to the door.

_Oh._

Stephen swallows.  
He looks at Tony over his shoulder.  
Tony’s eyes are open and now there’s something in them, that lets Stephen’s heart flutter in sympathy.  
Fear.  
Sure. Tony has nightmares too, he has told Stephen almost casually. Terrifying nightmares, in which he’s falling from the skye or seeing his friends die one after the other, blaming himself for it …  
_Maybe_ , Stephen thinks, _maybe Tony knows that certain loneliness too._

“What can I do?” He asks Tony quietly.

Tony gulps.  
“Stay?” He asks. It sounds hopeful.

“Um.”  
Stephen feels his heartbeat going faster.  
He can at least stay until Tony’s asleep, right?  
Sighing, he goes back to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it.

Tony makes a relieved noise.  
He closes his eyes.  
“You’re different,” he suddenly murmurs barely audible. “You know. You … you care, don’t you?”  
Stephen swallows.  
“I do,” he says.

“Well. Me too,” Tony whispers.  
It’s the last thing he says.  
A moment later, he starts breathing evenly, and Stephen knows he’s asleep.

He remains sitting there, on Tony Stark’s bed, not quite knowing yet how to feel about this.  
Somehow, the hope is now something stronger.  
And although he thinks he should, he doesn’t leave.  
He stays, until his eyes are so heavy he barely can hold them open.  
  
He goes downstairs, laying down on the couch.  
  
_Maybe this will be awkward in the morning_ , is his last coherent thought. Maybe …  
But somehow, he doesn’t care.  
He feels a strange, yet pleasant kind of happiness, when he falls asleep.

I know.  
He knows.

 _We_ know.


	7. The best Christmas (Ironstrange/Christmas Fluff)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony doesn't quite know how to feel about Christmas. Stephen makes a difference.

It’s Christmas soon.

Tony and Christmas have a … complicated relationship.

So when Stephen asks him almost casually, if they’re going to celebrate it in any way, he doesn’t quite find the answer. But instead he finds a lot of memories, that have a strange effect on him. Images in his head - A Christmas tree and bright lights, that aren’t spending any warmth …

He sits down on the couch with a heavy sigh, wiping his face.  
A certain kind of sadness starts to fill his heart.

Stephen takes one look at him and knows, like he always does. He must have seen it on Tony’s face and in his eyes.  
Without a word he goes to the kitchen and makes them hot chocolate.  
Hot chocolate.  
It seems like that’s their choice of medicine for such emotional moments.  

Tony stares into the void for a while, asking himself why he’s reacting this way. He doesn’t really find the answer.

Stephen comes back and hands Tony one of the steaming mugs.  
“So, Christmas,” he says, sitting down beside Tony. “Not your favourite holiday?”

Tony looks into his chocolate and shrugs.  
“I don’t know. I guess it’s not really important for me. Since it didn’t, um, play a big part in my life.”  
He stops and makes a vague hand gesture.

Stephen looks at him attentively.

Tony swallows and continues.  
“Well, you know … as a kid, I always got for Christmas whatever I wanted. So my parents thought at least. My father was never there of course. He was always working. It didn’t matter to him what day it was. However, they asked me if I had any wishes. I wrote them a list. And I found everything on the list under the Christmas tree. I unwrapped my presents and my mother watched me. She watched me with that everlasting, sad smile on her face.” 

Tony shrugs.  
“I always felt like there was something important missing. I never found this special thing, that so many seem to see in Christmas. And for the last years, there was never really a reason for me to celebrate it. It wasn’t important.”

He snorts.  
“I’ve never even been to a Christmas market,” he says thoughtfully. “Never had mulled wine there. Maybe I should change that …”  
He grins. 

Stephen smiles at him and lays a hand on his shoulder.  
“We’re going to have the best Christmas of all times,” he tells Tony.

*

It’s the best Christmas of all times indeed. 

They’re walking over the Christmas market in a slow, lazy pace, holding hands and drinking hot sweet mulled wine.

Tony feels like he’s glowing from the inside.  
A good feeling.  
Joined by the love he feels for the man at his side.  
He feels special now.

Later they decorate their small Christmas tree, giggling all the while because they feel a bit silly.  
Silly but warm and confident.

In the evening it actually starts to snow.  
Big heavy flakes fall from the sky slowly.

They’re sitting on the couch, sipping wine and watching some old classic Christmas movies.  
The presents they have for each other are still unwrapped.  
It’s not in the focus of their attention.

This day is about so many other things.

  
“You know,” Stephen says sometime. “I’m always going to be there.”

Tony looks at him and says, “I know. Me too.”

“Merry Christmas, Tony.”

“Merry Christmas, Stephen.”


	8. No Other Way (Ironstrange/Infinity War Angst)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen knows that what's going to happen will hurt Tony. But there's no other way ... (Infinity War, Alternative Scene)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a different scenario for Infinity War, in which Tony and Stephen are already a couple but everything else stays the same. (A lot of angst with hopeful ending)

“Do you trust me?”

The question startles Tony.  
He opens his mouth, but finds no words, because he’s still processing the unexpected question.

Stephen stares at him intensely.  
He’s sweating slightly.  
Apparently, going through 14,000,605 possible outcomes of this mess in a heartbeat is, unsurprisingly, quite stressful.  
“Do you, Tony?” He asks again, even more urgent than the first time. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” Tony says quickly. “Of course, I trust you …”  
And you know that, he thinks. Don’t you? We’re together for more than a year now. You know that I trust you. I told you things about me that I told nobody else. You’re the only one who really knows me. So why … why the question? Why now?  
The first hint of fear lets his spine tingle in unpleasant thrill.

Stephen sighs and nods.  
“Good. Because soon … I’m going to do something that you won’t like. But Tony. It has to happen.  
There is no other way.”

There is no other way …

Tony swallows.  
“I don’t understand,” he says hoarsely. The fear is now a icy lump inside him, giving him a goose bumps.

Stephen shakes his head.  
“Just trust me, Tony,” he says softly.  
And then, he presses a single kiss on Tony’s forehead.

Tony closes his eyes for this moment and wishes they weren’t on this dry, red, dusty planet, but on earth, in their bed, alone.  
Comfy and safe.

But the next moment, Peter calls his name urgently, and Tony opens his eyes again, facing reality.

 

The next things happen in a horrible, somber blur.  
Their plan doesn’t work.  
Tony faces death and listens to Thanos’s speech.  
“I hope they remember you …”

I only want to be remembered by two people, Tony thinks weakly through a fog of pain and regret. That’s enough. I’m sorry Stephen. I’m sorry kid. I’m sorry …

But then, Stephen’s words cut through the fog.  
“Stop. Spare his life... and I will give you the stone.”

No.  
No Stephen.  
He can’t …

Thanos drops him and takes the stone.

Tony looks at Stephen with wide eyes.  
“Why would you do that?” He whispers. “Why …”

Stephen’s eyes are full of love and sadness.  
He smiles at Tony weakly.  
“Trust me, Tony,” he says once again.

“We're in the endgame now.”

 

Later, Stephen repeats his somber words from the beginning.

_There was no other way, Tony._

_No other way._

_No …_

The words echo in Tony’s head while he watches the man he loves fade into dust right in front of him. He just disappears.  
There’s no time for Tony’s heart to break, because the next moment, Peter, the kid, stumbles into his arms, his eyes widened in panic.

“Mister Stark? I don't feel so good...”

_No._

“I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go, Mister Stark, please. Please, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go …”

_Oh God._

In a heartbeat, Peter is gone too.

Tony is alone.

This can’t be true, he thinks, staring into the void. This can’t be true … it has to be a nightmare.

It isn’t.

It’s the truth.

The two most important people in his life are gone.  
Tony looks at his dusty hands with numb eyes.  
There are no tears he could cry.  
There’s only an endless emptiness inside him.  
This … this must be how it feels like, when your heart and soul break into pieces.

*  
  
“He’s not dead,” Tony says slowly. “Peter is not dead.”  
His own eyes in the mirror look back at him doubtfully.

Tony swallows.  
“Neither is Strange,” he whispers.

Or anyone else.

No.  
They can’t be dead.  
They just … disappeared.

There’s nothing left but dust in the wind.  
There are no bodies.  
And when there’s no body …

You’re just lying to yourself, because it’s easier than admitting the truth, a voice in his head says.

We don’t know, Tony thinks. We don’t know what happened. And there are so many things out there … There are aliens, other planets, who the hell knows if there isn’t another universe out there? What if the snap just wiped out half of _this_ universe, but there are others?

And Stephen … Stephen said _trust me_.  
He didn’t say goodbye.  
He knew, right?  
He … he saw the one scenario we needed.  
So he led everything to this.  
It can’t be the end.  
It’s just … temporary. I just have to find them …

Tony wipes his face and swallows.

Stephen …  
God. He misses him so much.  
He misses everything about him.  
His warmth. His touch. His voice.

 

Tony exhales shakily and supports himself on the sink.  
He lowers his head and presses his eyes shut.  
He bites his lip until it burns and he tastes blood.

 _Where are you Stephen?_  
Are you with Peter?  
I hope so … I can’t stand the thought of the kid being somewhere strange all alone …

“Tony.”

He startles slightly at the voice, pulling him out of his thoughts.

He turns around, seeing Steve standing in the door, still dirty and bloody from the battle in Wakanda. There’s a wild look in his eyes.

They look at each other silently for a moment.

Then, Steve says calmly, “We’re going to find them, Tony.”

Tony swallows. He realizes, that Steve lost the most important person in his life too.  
They are left on earth, to begin a search that leads them into the same direction.  
Lovers, separated from their other half. Like puzzle pieces, that miss their counterparts.

Tony nods.  
“Where do we start?” He asks.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a native speaker and always grateful for being corrected! I'm constantly trying to improve my English, so please don't hesitate to tell me about mistakes. <3
> 
> Visit me on tumblr: [ready-to-kick-some-ass](https://ready-to-kick-some-ass.tumblr.com/) :)


End file.
